Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
