Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
