you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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