we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
