So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My sheets look like a crime scene.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
