His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize