Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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