Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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