I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
