i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Vodka?
Forever.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
