i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
