i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize
