This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
sex in a hospital.. check
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
