So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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