listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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