did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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