Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
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