Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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