Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
