I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize