guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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