This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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