my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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