I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
