Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
They took my balls.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
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