Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
they need to just BURY HIM!
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
