UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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