You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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