We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
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