I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize