I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
