She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
