Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
All the doctor said was why
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
