have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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