Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
