we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
