dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
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