Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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