your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
