he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
