Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
