after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
