Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
