I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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