YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Randomize