I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
