my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
