i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
