woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize