genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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