I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
