yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
