you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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