It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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