I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
This girl is more easily done than said...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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