I just saw a hot homeless man
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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