I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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