everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
