oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
