i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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