i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
