It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
