soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
