i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize