We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize