He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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