Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize