Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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