In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
