We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
