Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize